Evolution

Transformation. Evolution. Growth. Progression. you name it. You see, I was told by a wise man once, in this life there is only one thing that will never change. That is, the change itself.

A few months ago when I was traveling, I met this nice couple. They teach me about evolving. How every relationship can keep on growing stronger if you evolve together. Even now, after their 6th anniversary, they still evolve together. It's pretty nice, if you ask me. Well, for me.. one thing I know for sure. my tummy has evolved to be rounder and bigger. LOL.

How do you cope with changes? Do you fear changes or you like changes? Would you dare to get out from your comfort zone? What will you do when people asks you to change? I'm one of that person whose life changes drastically from one time to another. I can't really say that I relish it nor do I detest it, but these changes sometimes made quite a big impact on my life, and sometimes it made me forgot where I'm standing at the moment.

The good thing about changes is that, you'll know that nothing stays forever. Harsh time will not be forever, you will see the light somewhere along the way. And that's what makes you keep on going.

Not everyone can deal with changes easily. Most people will hope that bad times would change to good times. but nobody would want good times to change to bad times. Well, that's obvious isn't it? Who would want bad things? But again, nothing lasts forever. Always be prepared for the rainy days, put your pride on the second level, and keep in mind that the world will keep on turning and evolving no matter what you do. Last but not least, understand that time can never be turned back. So make the best use of all the time you have.

Can you?

Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer. ~Shunryu Suzuki

21.09.10 ~ via, transforming

Circle of Relationships

Waw, sudah lama sekali sepertinya saya tidak pernah meng-update blog ini. Sering kali saya menulis satu atau dua paragraph, kemudian saya berhenti sampai disana dan saya tutup. But anyway, I'm thinking of something today.. So, I'm gonna share it here.

Circle of relationship.. kayaknya hampir ada the same pattern.

nanti si ini bisa kenal dengan si anu, become friends.

ada yang friends becomes lover.

then lover broke up become friends again.

ada yang lover broke up become enemies.

ada juga yang friends become enemies.

maybe ada enemies become friends

tapi kok jarang enemies become lovers (hahaha)

All of it have their own history, and all of this history are written in our forum, our sms boxes, our e-mailboxes, stuff that we have. It may be worth Rp 350,- per sms (or maybe sometimes it's free), but the sentimental value is priceless. One single t-shirt with "friends forever" written on it, may worth Rp 50.000,- and still the sentimental value is priceless.

A piece of digital photo which may worth nothing in material value, but it worths more in our hearts. The smile in that photo tells it all. All the travels that we made together, all the laughs that we shared together, the stupid mistakes we point at each other, what is the material worth? ZERO. But this FREE stuff are the things that keeps us feel alive, put smiles in our lips, and warmth in our heart.

Sometimes.. sometimes when all the negative vibes starts to eat you alive, think of it. Think of all these "free" stuff you're getting. And feel blessed, because you still have something that money can't buy.

A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that which we take the least care of all to acquire ~ Francois De La Rochefoucauld

14.05.10 ~ via, a lil' bit of 'nothing'

The G-dar

Akhir-akhir ini saya sering travelling. Melihat bermacam2 orang di airport dari beragam ras, suku dan bangsa.

Suatu saat, di airport luar negeri.. saya sedang berjalan menuju gate, sampai tiba2 menggelegar suara tawa yg begitu khas, memecah keheningan. Dalam hati saya berkata "ah, pasti orang Indonesia". Dan tak lama berselang, terdengar sekilas perbincangan mereka. Ah, tepat tebakan saya. Memang orang Indonesia.

Dari sana saya jadi berpikir, memang yah setiap orang / karakter itu memiliki keunikannya sendiri. Kadang, dari gelak tawa saja, kita bisa menebak apakah itu orang Indonesia, Eropa, Australia, Chinnese, atau bahkan Indian.

Apakah demikian halnya dengan lesbian? Ataukah, itu yg disebut dengan gaydar? Apakah itu sebabnya orang yg sering atau sudah lama berkutat di komunitas sering mengatakan "gaydar gua makin lama makin keasah nih". Yang maksudnya, semakin lama mereka terjun di komunitas, semakin kuat pula gaydar mereka.

Memang, semua punya keunikan sendiri-sendiri. Lesbian pun begitu. Nah.. tapi, kalau saya ditanya; gimana sih membedakan nya? Atau apa sih keunikannya?

Well, I can only answer you, don't think about it... Just feel it :)

21.10.09 ~ via, not trying to open a gaydar course

You and I

Chris Brown feat. Keri Hilson - Superhuman

Weak
I have been crying and crying for weeks
How'd i survive when i can barely speak
Barely eat, On my knees

But that's the moment u came to me
I don't know what your love has done to me
Think I'm invisible
I see though the me I used to be

Reff:
You changed my whole life
Don't know what you're doing to me with your love
I'm feeling all super human, you did this to me
A super human heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you
Super human

Strong
Since i've been flying and righting the wrongs
Feels almost like i've had it all along
And i can see tomorrow

Where is problem is gone because
I flew everywhere with love inside of me
It's unbelievable to see how love can set me free

(Reff)

It's not a bird, not a plane
It's my heart and it's going, gone away
My only weakness is you
Only reason is you
Every minute with you
I feel like I can do anything
Going going, I'm gone away! Love..

(Reff)

You..
came without warning

You..
gave me the sweetest smile and since then, that smile has never leave my heart

You..
who always able to find a way to calm and pacify me, even when the whole world is going crazy

You..
filled my day and nights with happiness. (It's always you..)

You..
the one who is always there for me
the one who lend an ear and a shoulder for me to rely on

You..
always be the first to catch me when I fall, and carry me to a place where it's safe

You..
always sees the best in me and accept me as I am

I..
learn to cry in your arms and let go of all my defenses

I..
learn to love and be loved as a whole, with you

I..
still have that butterfly in me, whenever you speak my name

I..
am truly grateful that you came to my life

I..
feel like I can do anything with you by my side
feel like a superhuman

I..
have found that missing piece, cos you complete me

and I..
promise you all my love and devotion

Baby, I know the road hasn't been easy and there will still be more rocky roads ahead. But because you are here, I know that there is nothing more to fear. You have put back the missing puzzles in my heart and you comfort it with love and tenderness. Thank you is just not enough for all that you have given me. You've made me a better person.

To you.. I bestow my love and my life, my dear 'B'.

For always,
Your 'P' :)

18.09.09 ~ via, it's unbelievable to see how love can set me free

Anger Management

Anu: Ibuuw, lu ga pernah marah ya?
Via: heh? Marah? Ya pernah lah.. gelo kali kalo gua ga pernah marah. Mang robot? :P
Anu: Sumpeh lo bu? kayak apa? gua ga pernah liat lu marah2x
Via: Ga lah, jarang-jarang kok kalo gua marah, itupun kalo uda keterlaluan banget. Dulu malah gua ga bisa marah sama sekali. Hahaha sekarang uda mendingan loh! Uda bisa marah :P
Anu: Mank siapa yang pernah lu marahin?
...
...
.. and so on.. and so on..

Itulah pembicaraan soreku dengan seorang teman lama, beberapa waktu lalu. Topic of the day, "Anger Management".

Entah mengapa dia tiba-tiba melontarkan pertanyaan yang satu itu, tapi itu membuatku berpikir.. Iya, memang.. kalau dibandingkan dengan 5 tahun lalu, aku sedikit banyak telah berubah. Dulu aku tidak pernah bisa, bahkan berpikir marah pun tak sanggup. Tapi sekarang, kalau ada yang menyerobot mobil, atau ada hal yang tidak "benar", aku bisa ngedumel sendiri.. Untung ngedumelnya sendiri, kalo didepan orang-orang.. bisa dikira gila kali hehehe

Aku pikir, marah itu wajar kok. Marah merupakan sebuah bagian dari emosi manusia, dan mengeluarkan amarah -seperti kata para ahli- juga baik untuk kita, daripada dipendam di dalam hati. Hanya saja, marah yang baik itu juga terkontrol. Kadang, kalau amarah itu tak terkontrol, pada akhirnya terjadi penyesalan, kita bisa mengeluarkan kalimat yang semestinya tidak kita keluarkan atau melakukan hal yang tidak semestinya kita lakukan.

Melalui pengalaman, aku mulai belajar mengontrol amarah. Bukan memendamnya.. tidak, tapi mengontrolnya.

Hidup ini saja sudah cukup complicated, ditambah lagi dengan tanggung jawab kita yang semakin lama semakin besar, setiap hari kita akan selalu diuji dan dipancing secara emosional. Nah, dari situ juga kematangan kita diuji.

Kemarin aku baca tulisan Samuel Mulia di koran Kompas yang berjudul "Mati". Walaupun seluruh bagian dari parodi itu menarik, ada 1 bagian yang menarik perhatianku:

Kritik membangun? Saya tak percaya itu. Kritik itu negatif sifatnya dan belum lagi mengutarakannya dengan cara yang membuat jantung deg-degan. Sementara membangun itu positif, bagaimana keduanya bisa dijadikan satu? Bukankah sama saja sia-sianya menyatukan siang dan malam?

Mungkin karena saya takut dikritik, penjelasan di atas itu hanya bisa-bisanya saya saja. Saya takut karena membangun itu kemungkinan juga berarti menjatuhkan dengan cara mulia. Itu pengalaman saya. Saya pernah mengkritik yang tampaknya membangun, tetapi di baliknya hanya punya niat satu, menjatuhkan.

Setelah membaca bagian itu, saya langsung berkata dalam hati, "hahaha.. hebat ini orang, pikirannya ga kayak orang biasa."

Nah, apa hubungannya penggalan itu dengan topikku ini? Ada. Tentu saja ada.

Kemarahan. Bisa jadi positive, bisa jadi negative. Jangan biarkan orang lain memancing amarahmu dan menjadikannya negative. Aku sendiri sedang belajar untuk mengubah amarah itu menjadi sesuatu yang positive. Sulit memang, tapi tidak ada salahnya mencoba. Percayalah, di dunia ini.. sebaik apapun kamu, pasti selalu ada orang yang akan mengkritikmu dan berusaha membuatmu marah. Seperti kata Samuel, mungkin saja di balik kata-kata "kritik membangun" itu ada sebagiannya yang sebetulnya ingin menjatuhkan. Who knows? So, just believe in yourself and don't easily get emotionally triggered.

Dan di sisi lain, kita harus selalu mengingatkan diri kita sebelum kita mencoba mengkritik orang lain. Apakah impactnya? Apakah memang betul diperlukan? Karena, mencoba memancing amarah orang lain hanya untuk menarik perhatiannya, bukanlah sesuatu yang mulia, masih banyak cara lain untuk menarik perhatian orang lain.

Dan ketika antrian kita diserobot orang lain, atau mobil kita dipotong oleh mobil lain, atau ketika orang lain melakukan kesalahan kecil, pikirlah ini.. "apakah kita tidak pernah menyerobot juga? apakah kita tidak pernah melakukan kesalahan juga? apakah memang kita lebih baik daripada dia?". Mungkin dengan begitu, kita bisa lebih mengontrol kemarahan kita.

Good luck in your anger management!

07.07.09 ~ via, trying to change anger to positive energy

PS: bagi yang ingin membaca tulisan Samuel Mulia yang saya maksud, silakan click disini

I Learn.. (Part II)

Sudah 3 tahun berlalu sejak si bocah polos itu melanglang buana di dunia lesbian, dan hampir 2 tahun berlalu sejak dia berbagi pengalamannya di tulisan I Learn..

Sekarang, si bocah sudah beranjak dewasa. Banyak hal yang telah ia lalui, sedih, kesal, sesal, haru, senang, bahagia.. semua menambah pengalaman hidupnya. Bukan hanya sekali dia ingin lari dan menyerah, dan bukan hanya sekali dia berjuang kembali. Pada akhirnya, dia bisa meraih impiannya.

Seperti cerita dalam buku The Alchemyst karangan Paulo Coelho.. di cerita itu si bocah gembala berhasil menemukan hartanya setelah perjuangannya meraih impian dan melanglang buana ke negeri yang tidak pernah ia datangi sebelumnya. Dalam perjalanannya itu pun, dia berjumpa dengan orang-orang baik yang membantunya dan orang-orang jahat yang menipunya. Di akhir cerita, dia menemukan hartanya, menemukan sahabat dan menemukan seorang wanita istimewa yang menjadi pasangan hidupnya.

"Kisah yang indah", pikir si bocah ketika selesai membaca halaman terakhir dari buku itu. Kemudian dia memikirkan hidupnya dan kisah perjalannya melanglang buana di komunitas yang tidak pernah ia datangi sebelumnya.

Ya, mungkin tidak jauh berbeda. Dan tanpa dia sadari, mungkin si bocah telah menemukan harta yang selama ini dia cari. pengalaman yang berharga dan orang-orang yang berarti.

Dan beberapa pelajaran yang dapat dipetiknya:
6. Alam mempunyai kekuatan yang luar biasa, selalu lihat pertanda yang mereka berikan.
7. Ketika kamu percaya dan yakin, segenap alam semesta akan membantumu meraih impianmu.
8. Dengarkan kata hatimu, terkadang dia berbisik pelan.. tapi coba dengarkan.
9. Cinta bisa datang begitu saja, kapan saja dan kepada siapa saja.
10. Jangan berhenti meraih impianmu, karena mungkin suatu saat kamu akan melihat kembali hidupmu dan menyesal karena tidak pernah melakukannya.

(poin 1-5 ada di I Learn Part I :D)

16.06.09 ~ via, still just a kid

2.5 Years of Satupelangi.com

"I will help you as long as you need me."

Gosh! That one sentence really makes it all worthwhile. No matter how hard it has been, no matter how much time and effort that we have put in to make, built and maintain this website.. that simple sentence just makes it all worthwhile. It surely brightens up the long and hard day. Thank you for the continuous support.

You see, when I first decided to make this website, I have this thought in my mind.. that how simple things can change somebody's life. And how people always need a friend at the end of the day. Thus, I believe that a simple website can also change somebody's life (to be better, I hope).

I believe in this virtual world, you can meet all kinds of people. If you are lucky, you can meet those that might -even just a little- be your BFF (Best Friends Forever). Well, we'll never know.. But, I also believe that everyone have the right to feel peace and respect others the way they want to be respected.

Somebody PM'd me a few weeks ago, she told me that she met someone nice from the forum, and she said thank you. Mm, that kinda made me smile a bit. Why? Not because I'm becoming a successful matchmaker. Nope. But because, I am happy that in this forum, a good person can meet a good person. Ha! What can be better than that? Well, like I said.. sometimes, at the end of the day, all we need is a good friend and a good story to share, to laugh, and to remember..

People may come and go, and the memories they bring with them varies. But one thing I know, we will always be there.. always learning and trying to be better, time after time.

I know, no matter how hard we try, things will not always go smoothly. That's the process of learning. But I also believe that when people put their faith on you, you'll have the power to do things beyond what you ever imagined.

And today, we're changing to be better!

After you've done a thing the same way for two years, look it over carefully. After five years, look at it with suspicion. And after ten years, throw it away and start all over. ~Alfred Edward Perlman, New York Times, 3 July 1958

12.04.09 ~ satupelangi.com, keep moving forward.

Friendship and Music

Someone once said to me, "i like the way you talk about friendships". Come to look at it, well yeah.. Most of the topic in this blog is about friendship.

If you ask me, I would say.. friendship is like music. There are music that we can instantly like, even if we only hear the first 3 seconds of it. There are some that we halt after hearing the first few seconds. There also the kinds that we have to listen for quite some time, over and over again, til we realize the meaning, and we starts to like it.

In certain times, we stop listening to our favorite musics and safely store it in our CD boxes or hard disks. And maybe some time in the future, we'll browse our collections and bump in to this song, the song that we used to like very much. And we'll put it in our music player and starts listening to it.. the melodies, the lyrics.. indulge us in reminiscence.

Some music can lift our spirit, make us feel energized, and some make us feel comfortable and relaxed, some other have melodramatic melodies, and it can make us feel sad and blue.

But, we can't live without music, like we can't live without friends..

21.03.09 ~ via, listening to my favorite music